30, your hair spreads in swirls against the plum pillow,
25, his hands swerves and curves to the hourglass formed by your hips,
20, your heart rate sinks to the rate of his breath pressing against your neck,
15, keep counting, ignore his chubby hands sinking,
breaking your bones till they feel like shattered glass.
10, don’t let your hands shake,
never let him know you are awake.
5, cover your face with your strands of hair,
feel the tears
that you wish were rain pouring on your head.
4, face downwards,
3, say no,
say no anyway possible,
have the guts to tell him
you know what is going on.
2, feel his hands cup you and shiver till your backbone starts to shift
like Jenga being crumpled from one little piece out of place.
1, wake up, It’s time to tell him you know.