Alexa Dersovitz

You Know

30, your hair spreads in swirls against the plum pillow,
25, his hands swerves and curves to the hourglass formed by your hips,
20, your heart rate sinks to the rate of his breath pressing against your neck,
15, keep counting, ignore his chubby hands sinking,
pushing,
breaking your bones till they feel like shattered glass.
10, don’t let your hands shake,
never let him know you are awake.
5, cover your face with your strands of hair,
feel the tears
that you wish were rain pouring on your head.
4, face downwards,
3, say no,
say no anyway possible,
have the guts to tell him
you know what is going on.
2, feel his hands cup you and shiver till your backbone starts to shift
like Jenga being crumpled from one little piece out of place.
1, wake up, It’s time to tell him you know.

©2016 by the author. Used with permission.

About Alexa Dersovitz
I am a junior from Livingston High School and I have an immense passion for writing. I was always known for being the one with a huge imagination. In elementary school, stories raced through my brain, graphically, building horror stories upon horror stories. Some may say I was a weird kid. Now, in high school, I learned the art of poetry and it turned my stories from fiction to non-fiction. All I want to do, now, is to keep on writing.
Writer's Statement
When I was little, I used love writing , fictionally, about dark incidents. Now that I’m older, sadly, traumatic things have happened to me and poetry was the only way to cope and share my emotions about it. This poem brings the reader into the specifics of a sexual assault that happened to me when I was 13. I wrote it to cope with what happened and to bring awareness to the aftermath of an assault. I know that writing being an outlet is cliche, but, in my case, it is totally true.